The most silent time of a Christian life might be the time when we think that God finally decided to shut his mouth and hide His presence.
Most Christians if not all might probably been into this “silent stage”. These are the times when you are reading your bible, praying and attending church but it seems like everything just plainly takes place. Well it is different from praying, reading the bible and attending church out of OBLIGATION. You are sincerely doing these things to communicate and intimately connect with God because you love Him, but sadly it felt like God’s presence is absent.
That’s the keyword— FEEL. When feelings take over, we suddenly get clouded with confusions and doubts. Sometimes we thought that worship is some form of emotional hype or an adrenaline rush. We feel like when we are reading the bible and God is not speaking to us, God’s presence must be absent or maybe God is not pleased with our life recently. These are the lies that keep obscuring the unfathomable nature of God.
I myself have similar battles. One night, in my pursuit of hearing and feeling God’s presence again; I have decided to attend worship night in one of the nearest church. Well, I almost always attend there every week however, that time I was quite guilty to admit that my primary purpose was to seek God by attending the said worship gathering. One Pastor suddenly shared this passage:
New International Version (NIV)
For the director of music. Of David. A psalm.
1 You have searched me, LORD,
and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue
you, LORD, know it completely.
5 You hem me in behind and before,
and you lay your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,”
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.
13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts,[a] God!
How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand—
when I awake, I am still with you.
Im pretty sure that it is not the first time I have heard or have read these verses but this passage really struck me to the bone!
What was I thinking, when I thought that God’s presence can be absent in my life? Havent he assured me in His word that He will never leave me nor forsake me (Joshua 1:5)? This passage reaffirmed me how God sees and values me every step of the way. Our relationship will never be affected by my fluctuating feelings and commitments nor with the dark sins I have committed in the past and will be committing in the future.
“And it is my desire to lavish my love on you, simply because you are my child and I am your father” ~1 John 3:1
How overwhelming to fathom God’s love for us!
Made me think how busy GOD is to follow me through life, even if I tend to forget Him sometimes.
Made me think how wounded God’s heart is every time I break his heart.
Made me think how big God’s heart is to contain his love for a sinner like me.
God’s deeds are unfathomable,so every time I can’t understand His reason, I will decide to TRUST His Heart.